Monday, January 8, 2018

It's okay to not be okay...... (a thought)

In about a little over eight months from now I will get to relive the worst day of my life from four years ago. September 1st, 2014, the day my Father passed. September 6th, 1983 is also my birthday. That was one of the most surreal experiences of my adult life thus far. Seeing my dad pass, and then five days later "celebrating" the day of my birth with my family and three kids.
To be honest, at this point I don't even remember what we did. Everything since September 1st has been a huge blur of life, sadness, confusion, job, kids, etc.....tonight I was treating myself to one of my many midnight mindless video binges on facebook.
I am obsessed with scrolling through videos of puppies, kitties, food, comedians, you name it, I watch it. Most of the time its light hearted, only once and a while do I come across ones that really speak to me. 

"It is okay, to not be okay."


I know that sounds like some low budget hallmark card with a kitty and damn heart on it, but the reality of that phrase hit me like a ton of bricks. In this world of social media, and expressing ourselves 24/7 to people who may or may not even truly care about me, I have stopped thinking about the obvious. That if your sad, angry, lost, it's okay. It's okay to feel those feelings, it's okay to say that sometimes life's sucks big donkey balls.

It's. Okay.

Having someone who was not only your father but your best friend pass while trying to make sure the kids are alright about being heartbroken over the death of their grandfather is no easy task.
I have seen over time, that the time I needed to properly grieve kept getting put on the back burner, Honestly, I think I was too afraid to be messy, to yell, to be angry in front of the kids.
I was worried that I would confuse them or make them sad, but I have only found that almost four years later that all of those pent up things I never let out in the first place have manifested into coming out into other ways that I didn't plan.
My kids now get mood swing mommy. and that is never what I intended through all of this.
I kept lying to myself all these years that I was okay, that time heals all wounds, blah blah blah bullshit. But the reality is that I was too scared to simply say that nothing was okay, I am never going to fully be okay, and this IS okay! 

So I sit here now, still having a broken heart after all these years, time does not fully heal, it just tries to patch once and while, until my heart just rubs raw again. But that's okay as well.

If you come away with anything right now I hope that it is this. 

Life is hard, sadness is sometimes essential to get us to the next moment, and that is okay. 

It will get better, but for now, it's okay to just be who you need to be in this moment. 

Let's not hide, let's not think we are an inconvenience to other people, because you are not! 

If we're not okay being a little broken, then we're never going to have the hindsight to help fix others, 

and that is never okay. 



Wednesday, November 15, 2017

The Hypocrisy of Hollywood.

Happy Early Thanksgiving bitches! I was originally going to talk about my favorite Thanksgiving specials and all that fun random shit, but I decided to save that for next week and talk about something that is more important to my heart. I wanted to discuss all the Hollywood sexual abuse scandals and why none of this shit shocks me in the slightest. I decided to  do something different so I am going to do a video! Yay look at me being all technologically advanced and shit. lmao Oh god I need a life.......Enjoy!

----- xoxox Nerdychick.

P.S, Also Let me know in the comments your thoughts and how you feel about everything going on in the industry.

Monday, October 30, 2017

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The Kookiest, Spookiest Halloween Mix (and shit!) xoxox

It's the most super awesomeness time of the year assholes! It's truly the only reason why I get out of bed at this point (well, I guess also for my kids too..whatever!) and I wanted to share my favorite music with you! 

Halloween is all about the costumes, we all know this, but for some reason the music always gets overlooked. Which is a shame, since there are some truly catchy. cheesy, and very creepy songs out there! Don't get me wrong, xmas has some of the most beautiful songs,  but Halloween definitely can hold up on its own, it does have one of the biggest songs going for it by way of Thriller! Hello!!! 

On that note, I decided to put my insomnia to use this morning and was up till roughly 4:30 am making a huge Halloween mix on Spotify! My OCD tendencies come out in full force when making a mix. Not only do I have a vey sick obsession with music in general, I get a very special hard on for old and obscure music from the 30's and 40's, and if it's Halloween based, Oh forget about it! I am done!!!  ha ha ha ha.....don't judge me, I still have not gotten much sleep. I am living solely on Coca-Cola and Shrimp chips at this point.
So, I hope you enjoy this incredibly random but super fucking cool Halloween mix! I also added some cool old radio ads just cause....why not?!
Also Basil Rathbone, Vincent Price, Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi are thrown in for good measure, cause it would just not be a proper Halloween mix without them! Enjoy!

xoxoxox ---- Nerdychick 

P.S. Don't think that I added these older songs in there to be cool or quirky! I aint no hipster bitch! I legitimately love these all these songs! The mix I made for my co-workers last year had many of the same songs.
I would  just like to believe that I am an old soul trapped in a 34 year old body. xoxox

Monday, October 16, 2017

I'm Back Bitches!!!

After an extremely long hiatus and a lot of soul searching, I have decided to start this Blog up and running again! I am very aware that I am literally the only person who blogs anymore at this point (I'm an old bitch who is stuck in her ways, sue me!) But I wanted to change the nature slightly of this blog. 

For years my big problem has been that I am interested in way too many fucking things that it borders on unhealthy. Because of that, this blog became more of a catch all of whatever caught my fancy and less about what I really wanted to talk about in the first place: Art and Music.

So, I have decided to go back to my roots and really talk about the things that matter to me. At this point in my life, I don't care about views, shock value or any of that bullshit that I thought mattered at the time. Don't get me wrong, I am still feisty as shit, but I have decided to channel all this weird fucking energy, and use it to talk about what I love the most. Music, Art, Reading, Love, Coffee, Harry potter and Halloween! 

So hold tight while I figure it all out, but just know that my goal is to bring you something different, hopefully insightful and also fun at the same time. 

On that note, Here's an artist that I am currently listening too. I really think you should take a listen. they're quirky but that is what I simply love about them. xoxo

The Damned on Spotify! xoxo

-------- Nerdychick

Monday, November 24, 2014

The Top 5 Thanksgiving Specials of All Time

I am 95%  sure this is authentic attire....

With Thanksgiving just 3 days away (the 27th people!!) I thought I would take this moment and highlight some of my favorite t.v. specials from this glorious holiday were we raped and pillaged from the Indians, and every year we celebrate with a turkey and yams....or something like that, I really didn't pay attention in history class.....Any who, when your done binge eating here are my top five picks for your viewing pleasure! 



The Top 5 Thanksgiving Specials of All Time.

5. Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

This special focuses on Charlie Brown and basically how much everyone hates him.
The whole gang invites themselves over for thanksgiving, even though he tells them he is going over to his grandma's house. Yes, his friends are dicks.
 Who needs enemies when you have friends like Charlie browns?! lol

4.The Mouse on the Mayflower (1968)

One of the few Rankin and Bass specials that was not done in questionable stop motion animation,
and actually one of there better ones. While the story of the first Thanksgiving might be a little cringe worthy for the jaded mofos out there, It is told through the eyes of a mouse, which is smart and basically means the writers have zero accountability for actual facts, plus mice are just so fucking cute!

3. Garfield's Thanksgiving

Disclaimer: For legal reasons (damn you copyright laws and the people who enforce them!) I cannot find anywhere on youtube a full copy of Garfield's Thanksgiving episode.So instead I will show you some lovely still shots from the special,....

If you are STILL having troubles figuring the basic premise, It all centers around John taking Garfield to the vet, and in true horn dog mode, John invites the hot Vet to his house for thanksgiving even though John does not know how too all. Of course John's sassy grandma with a chainsaw comes into play, but you will just have to watch the hilarity ensue on your own so here's a link for part one and part two on Metatube. Enjoy!

2. The Thanksgiving That Almost Wasn't (1972)

My eyes have truly been opened after watching this special.
It is the story of the first thanksgiving and how a cute little squirrel brings one young pilgrim and an Indian named Little Bear together, to see past there differences and come together on this sacred of days...Thanksgiving. Between the classic cheesy Hannah-Barbara animation, songs that they sing (yay friendship!) and the kooky adventures the two lead kids get into, it's hard to ever believe how history got it so wrong! I don't care what your textbooks say, it was the squirrel who saved thanksgiving dammit!!!

1.The Muppet Show Episode 408: Arlo Guthrie (1978)

As a longtime devoted fan of The Muppets It is safe to say that this is one of my favorite Thanksgiving Moments from television. Sadly, this episode is from season four and since it is not available to the fans on dvd the only way to even watch this right now is through youtube (video above) or if you are lucky to find a copy of this episode on The Very Best of the Muppet Show Volume 2, but that was made for the uk only, good luck with that. My hope is one day the fucktards at disney will release the rest of the seasons for the fans, and stop postponing it's release!!  On another note, Enjoy what I consider classic muppets, go make a bobby sandwich and Enjoy your thanksgiving like any good mother fucking christian!


I hope this list has been helpful in killing at least 5-10 minutes of your precious time, My sincere wish for you on this thanksgiving is to hug your family, gorge on food, kiss a native american and apologize by saying "My Bad!" and Enjoy your family by ignoring them while you get ready for black selfish pricks.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!!!



Monday, November 17, 2014

A letter....

My dad and I hiking when I was 6.....

Greetings and salutations my dear readers of the page,

It has been a long time since I have been on here, and while I was gone a lot has changed in my life. I can safely say that it has officially been the worst year of my life and I simply cannot wait till that clock strikes midnight on new years,....

My dad passed away on September 1st of this year....for many of you know (or may not know) I never really speak of my family on this site. I usually try to keep it light, but I just needed to be real today and tell you how close my family is and how devastated we are that my dad is no longer here. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him, and wishing I could just see him one more time. He was not only my dad, but my best friend. The only person besides my husband who truly understood me. We could talk about anything, laugh together, he showed me how to be a true fine artist, and he was one of the most creative people I have ever met. I owe who I am to my dad, and the hole in my heart is deeper then I ever thought possible....

I have been thinking a long time about what to do with this site, and I think I will keep it up and start to update it about once a week. If nothing else, I really need distraction in my life from thinking of him. I don't think that is healthy, but that is the way I choose to deal with grief.

Know that I love you all, I thank you all for always reading this random little site, and I will see you in a couple of days with new topics.



Monday, May 5, 2014

Today's Mix:5/5/14

Hello and welcome back! After a long hiatus and being way too busy to write for this blog I have started to try my hardest and once and awhile come by say hi! So....hello.:-)
Today's random good times is a mix I made of songs that I am absolutely obsessed with right now.
Oddly enough they all have a theme that I really didn't notice until after I made this little mix...sadness, lonely, and hope.
So, if your feeling a little bit of any of those right now I hope maybe this mix might help a little.
Sometimes the best kind of therapy is the music kind.



Follow me on Spotify!

Monday, May 20, 2013

What the fuck happened to music? ( A rant)

Call me jaded, old fashioned, whatever the fuck you want I don't care, but the more I listen to the radio and what the record companies have to offer the general masses the more I start to long for the old days, when artists were allowed to just create and the execs were just the money. Sure there were plenty of struggles to get your voice heard than but it seems the past 10 years or so it has gotten more manufactured, more dubstep, more bullshit.

I truly feel the 90's created the last great crop of artists, and I feel so sad for the fact that music on a whole seems to be dying or at least selling it's soul, what does the future hold for my kids and generations to come? 

Of course every generation has their shit music, that is just part of the routine, but it seems in 2013 that the shit music has taken over and the thinkers, thought provokers, more experimental has gone underground again and is basically non-existent on the top 40 radio. 

What are the record companies so afraid of? For someone to actually be moved, or god forbid even learn something about themselves? Besides artists like Adele (which is a brit so she really doesn't count since Americans tend to like British music far better than our own, even when they copy it verbatim ) Is money really that more important than an artists integrity?

What are thoughts? Do you feel the industry is dying as we know it? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! 

Monday, May 6, 2013

The top five sharts in pop music for 2013. (So Far)

May we park your car for you?

Let's face it folks, music in general has been on a downward spiral since the 2000's, but no where has it been the more obvious in decline of quality than in the pop music realm. 

Now the term usually signifies music that is popular with the masses, but the more commercialized the industry becomes, the less it is really about the listener and more about getting you to buy something you never knew you actually needed.

The sad part about making this list is that it was not hard to find crap songs to write about since 95% of pop music out there right now is god awful.

To me, everything sounds like just one big glitter turd explosion of mediocrity, and ladies and gentleman these are so bad that I don't know if I would even consider them actual songs, they are more like sharts.....

So here is my list of the top five sharts in pop music for 2013 (so far)

5. Pittbull featuring Christina Aguilera Feel this Moment

I would love to know why Christina keeps doing crap songs to be a part of, she is so much better than guest starring with Pittbull, I mean c'mon it's Pittbull! 
This guy has about as much charisma as a corpse. 
It's like the producers just gave him a list of  products and celebrity names to spout into the microphone and they add a fucking beat to it, I still have no idea why this guys is famous.

Christina on the other hand has one of the most amazing voices in the industry but you would never know that with her terrible song choices. 
Now if you don't mind i'm gonna go listen to the album Stripped to wash this bad taste out of my mouth.

4.Kesha C'Mon

Here's another Grammy worthy effort by the genius known as Kesha (I'm not even gonna bother with the $ in her fucking name). 
Full of bad rapping, drug references, partying, no inhibition and a mindless club thumping beat lead to one conclusion: that there is no god....

and if there is he must have one fucked up sense of humor for letting Kesha write music.

3.98 Degrees Microphone 

A 98 degrees song? Weird I thought they all died in a horrible house fire..oh wait that was just the dream I had last night...damn wishful thinking! In any event, here's a new song by the low Budget N'Sync called Microphone, which one can assume is a not so clever play on words to talk about their penis's.

Yes ladies and gentleman it is an entire song about "grab the microphone and sing do re mi fa so"....
I am not shitting you, those are the actual lyrics! lol
Don't believe me? Here is the lyric video above (starring 98 degrees themselves) showing the sheer brilliance of their song writing skills. 

The song is so bad that youtube has disabled the like button and comments! That only means one thing, It has officially headed into Kim Kardashian Jam territory! Good Job Guys!!!

2. PSY Gentleman 

It's just Gangham Style 2.0 but with a boring dance...what else can be said really? 
At least Gangham had a campy quality to it, but this is just..meh. 
Well, To each his own I guess, I can understand why people like his music, even if it is just a silly dance song.

1. Beyonce Bow Down / I Been On

When I first listened to this song my children thought just by the first sample that I was looking at those funny dancing kitty video's on youtube. Sadly I wish I would have been since at least those make a little bit more sense.

 Where to start? She is a huge walking contradiction in this song and when it was released it confused a lot of people, even yours truly. One moment she says she wants respect and she is a strong independent woman which is a great feminist move, but than tells "bitches to bow down", like we are all her fucking servants. And with the use of the term "Bitch" it completely demoralizes women and voids the point she originally was trying to make.

I knew Beyonce was ape shit crazy but this song brings a whole new level of narcissism, and the video promotion she did for the ms.carter tour (above) does not help her case one bit.

Between sloppy production values, lyrical context that makes no sense, and the fact that she barely sings at all leads me to believe that Beyonce is far from the musical genius she wants us so desperately to believe she is. 
The only thing Beyonce is queen of is her own delusions of grandeur.

Honorable Mentions: I was going to put Will. i. am on this list but he has done so much bad shit between 2012-2013 that I have decided to write an entire article just about him, so look for that in the near future. xoxox

Agree or Disagree with my List? What would be on your list for the worst songs? 
Sound off in the comments below!